when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Drake has all the answers
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
