glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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