i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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