just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
