I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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