margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
