I'm so fucking centered right now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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