do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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