I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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