"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
