found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
