I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
