She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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