when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
