So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize