marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
