I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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