Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
