whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dear god my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
