My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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