I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize