i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
