I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
