last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
