I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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