Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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