is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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