oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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