You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
