he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
