Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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