She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Is it penis luge time yet?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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