Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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