and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
worst night to have a conscience
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
