I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
