I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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