You really coming over, don't trick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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