I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
