I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
