I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize