just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
