So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
