Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
