your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
