Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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