found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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