Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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