You work out of a Hotel?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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