Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
