Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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