And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
