You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well I just put wine in my tea
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
