people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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