I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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