My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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