The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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