Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
