If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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