What a fucking waste of an outfit
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
