Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
