don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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