32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
