Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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