My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
