if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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