Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
