sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
