Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
soo... how was my night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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