at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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