I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
