i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
