The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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