dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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