Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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