Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
