Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
